


Until We Meet Again

by wickedgal08



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, War Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedgal08/pseuds/wickedgal08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, in which Elijah has to go to war but leaves Elena with a goodbye letter, which stirs up a cacophony of emotions as she tries to deal with the news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until We Meet Again

Absence is something that (ironically) announces its presence; you feel it before you observe it with your eyes, very much like an illness rooted deep within your body.

Elena rolls over, expecting to bump into the chiseled chest of her fiance, only to feel herself stretch over too much space. Her doe eyes open to reveal a vast desert of excess mattress, her hands reaching instinctively for flesh which seem to have been robbed from her very side. 

Her heart gives an almighty creak, then buckles and proceeds to collapse, because she instinctively knows what this absence means, what it signifies.

Months of arguing over what the conscription laws meant for them, imploring Elijah to run with her so that they could start a new life somewhere that didn't dictate their biggest life choices, begging him to reconsider when his mind seemed set on going have all boiled down to this: an empty bed resulting in an empty, broken, now useless heart.

She pushes herself into an upright position, drawing her knees to her chest, sulking first of all because he'd been a stubborn bastard and refused to even say goodbye to her, then concedes to a round of tears before promptly pulling herself together. She cannot control him - Lord know she can't control him - but it's still a disconcerting feeling to realise he left without saying goodbye...and it seemed so easy. 

She cries a little more as she tries to pick up the pieces of a disjointed day. Breakfast is a lonely affair, and she has only the radio to listen to, yet it's a poor substitute for company and so she rattles around her empty kitchen more noisily than before to give the illusion she isn't alone. Of course, that only works for so long before misery consumes her, and then she's back to moping, which doesn't help anything. 

Anger is the next emotion to sweep her off her feet, and she becomes infuriated, which becomes evident by the way she undertakes certain chores; sweeping involves more violent motions with the brush, to the point where she almost breaks household items just by the furious pace she's set herself. Even washing up, usually a chore which has a certain therapeutic charm to it, just agitates her, and each plate she scrubs becomes a victim she lashes out at. 

The more you love someone, the harder you hate them. It's an unwritten rule of romance, and it absolutely applies to her in this case. She hates him, hates how easy he found it to abandon her, hates the fact his crooked smile still rests at the forefront of her mind, the feel of her fingers through his hair omnipresent, hates how even though she's the dominant one in their relationship (a fact some of her friends and neighbours are frequently scandalised by, which is always fun to wind them up about), his absence bears down the strongest.

Elena manages to get through three hours of the day before she rants and rages to herself, throwing herself down on their bed, her fingers sprawling, stretching underneath her pillow until they grasp paper, and the effect that simple gesture has on her is startling. Her body bolts upwards as though it has been electrocuted, and excitement causes all the hairs on her arms to stand up on end. 

Trembling fingers snatch the paper from between pillow and mattress, and she recognises Elijah's handwriting before her eyes have even the chance to recognise her own name scorched upon the paper. 

She scans each of the words in turn, her heart quivering with anticipation as she absorbs them all, and she imagines his dulcet tones saying them aloud, and all of a sudden it's like he's in the room with her.

_My dearest Elena,_

_Rather than continue to fight with you on the matter, I have made the prompt decision to fulfill my duty to my country and head to war. I tried to conjure up a way of telling you in person, but somehow I presumed I would fare better with an unknown enemy on the battlefield than to attempt to convey my decision to you in person._

She gives a broken laugh at this; trust Elijah to make light of the fact that she tends to win most of their arguments in a goodbye letter, which is supposed to drip with promises and solemn words, not reach into her heart, somehow cradling it rather than shattering it into pieces.

_I will attempt to write to you as frequently as I can. The conditions here I've heard are quite unpleasant, a far cry from the conditions home treats me with, but I have to bear it._

_You might wonder where this sense of duty comes from, and why I feel so obligated - aside from the obvious reason - to partake in this war. I watched my father frequently beat my half brother, Niklaus, and I stood aside like a coward, and that memory haunts me. If I can make a tangible contribution by standing up against abusers like my father, even if it's on a much grander scale, and defeating them, then maybe I can earn back the title of brother, which I fear I lost the moment Niklaus abandoned our family the moment he could break away, never looking back._

_I have never told you this because I did not want to burden you with my failings. I am determined never to fail you, so I'm entering this war will the intention of surviving and returning home to you, so we can build that future together I promised you all those years ago, when we first fell in love._

_Please do not worry, although I understand I have left you with no other option than to worry._

_I have done wrong by you by addressing all this in a letter rather than telling you all this in person, but there is another reason I omitted which explains in part why I could not fulfill this task._

_Saying goodbye to you, my sweetest Elena, is like trying to bid adieu to my own heart. I cannot survive without either of you, and yet if the circumstances call for such measures, I understand I must attempt to. But I will hold you in my heart and I will make you proud._

_I will love you, always and forever,_

_Your loving Elijah_

She has an odd reaction to the letter.

First, she laughs, simultaneously crying as she reads and re-reads it countless times. 

Next, she presses it against her lips, as if hoping to transmit the kiss through his words to the sender. 

And last, she releases a heavy sigh.

"I am marrying an idiot," she mutters to herself, and her heart feels a little lighter having read the letter, but is still weighed down by the heftiness of his absence. 

She folds the letter delicately, presses it to her lips again, wipes the tears from her eyes, and tries to decide which emotion is stronger in her bloodstream - her annoyance that Elijah left without a physical manifestation of a goodbye, or her combined love and admiration that his reasons for going to war surpass the shallow dreams of younger men whose desires for going to war centre around adventure and glory. 

But she misses him all the same. 

And the nagging thought that he might not come home, which means this letter is all she has left of him, has her fingers clenched so tight a little blood is drawn. 


End file.
